my beef with my uncle

You good?

13 Oktober 2020 20:02

I will tell you insyAllah. I feel terrible

I had fought with my uncle (he is the youngest among my mom's siblings).

My house is next to my grandma's and my uncle lives with grandma cuz he is unmarried.

At the back of my grandma's house is 'another uncle of mine'. Today I had 2 classes at noon.

That time is wash dishes time for me so I always wash earlier before classes.

When I was washing I saw stray cats, a mom cat bring its baby in its mouth,

those cats were hiding in an unused cupboard in my backyard. I found it cute,

like actually I don't like cats because I am afraid with them I am afraid with all animals.

And I know they cannot stay there, no animal is allowed by my family.

But I was thinking if my mom comes back from work, I will ask her to get rid of those cats.

Cuz I am really afraid of any animal. When I finished washing, I entered my kitchen and

found my uncle taking rice (it is pretty normal he usually takes food and yup we share food)

but when he went out he found out the cats' hiding place.

While bringing a plate along with him, he took water in a bowl and poured it to the cupboard . . to the cats.

I was shouting to stop him but he didn't stop. I shouted "stop it I will get rid of them by myself!"

I know he is rude and reckless in anything. He has a bad temper. I know he once kicked animal and

killed a trapped mouse by pull it in and out into water. He has bad relationship with family members..

no one wants to talk to him except my family. He used to expel my uncle's family from my grandma's house

before he built a house at the back. He used to call my cousin a tramp and immoral. He used to almost killed

my uncle and his wife (another uncle who lives far) by bringing gun on his hand. He doesn't see himself as

the wrong person. He thinks he is always right.

So I shouted at him then he shouted at me "I must get rid of these cats!" I said over and over "Let me do it!

Don't throw water on them!!" He didn't listen to me. I was screaming and he poured water on my face.

It's not a lot of water cuz he has thrown it to the cats. Then I threw the plate I brought on the ground but it didn't

break.. I just did that to show I was angry and I extremely need to be heard. Then he went back inside grandma's

house. I thought he let me clean the cats. So I clean the ground first cuz food scraps are scattered there. But then

he went back. He only put the plate inside and back to the cats. I shouted "Eat your meal! Let them there!! I clean

them myself!!" But he didn't respond to me. He took a broom to smack the cats. The mom cat jumped leaving its

baby. Then my uncle kicked the baby. I ran to cover that baby cat. I stand between that small cat. I didn't know

what to do. I begged him and shouted "just go inside and eat your meal!!"

But it seemed like his meal was that baby cat. He kicked that baby cat when I was moving a little bit to reach

something cuz I cannot touch animals with my hand directly.. I was stupidd!!! He used that chance to kick

that baby cat once again. I screamed at him "you insane!!!" I went down and held his leg so he could stop.

When I was on my knees and screaming, I heard my grandma is crying aloud from her bed. She cannot get

up from her bed because she was so sick and too old. She shouted "Stop fighting! Don't you have mercy on

me?! Stopp!!" She was crying loudly. I feel bad for her. My focus was on my grandma's voice. My heart broke.

Then I didn't know what happened, I found he brought that baby cat with him and shouted at me "look what you do?!

Your grandma is crying because of youu! You are moron! You wanna let this cat stay there, huh?!"

I shouted back "don't you see yourself it's your fault!! I told you over and over I will get rid of them myself!!!

Are you insane!!

You shouldn't kick that cat!!"

Then I heard my uncle whose house at the back told me in low voice "go inside your house, Din! Let him!"

 

"But look what he did?!!! I cannot just don't care!!" I shouted.

 

Again with low voice, my uncle said from his own kitchen. "You are not facing a human. Let him get his

punishment because of his sin"

 

Wallahi what my uncle said to me was really emotional. Almost all of my family is not practicing, but my

uncle just said about the punishment on the day of judgement.. even for "humans" can realize it is the meanest

deed and will get the punishment in the next world. He is really inhuman.

 

"Yes! He is not a human!! So heartless!" I shouted loudly but he was away and maybe he couldn't hear what I

said and if he heard it, I would be dead.

 

My uncle in his kitchen said "stop it Din! Don't say it!! You can be killed!! Just go insidee!!"

 

He said it repeatedly but I didn't go anywhere. I was waiting for him to come back.

With the bad feeling I had towards the cat, I imagined he threw that cat away into the river. When he was back,

he found me still standing there.

 

"Can't you hear your grandma crying??!"

 

"I can hear!"

 

"Son of b*tch" then he went inside.

 

I felt my anger. I went inside after that and slammed the door. After I was crying in my room, I tried to call my

mom but she couldn't be called then I called my colleague. I just need someone to listen to me. One thing I feel

good about is I don't cry in front of him. So he saw that I am not weak. I do cry for the cats cuz after that I still hear

that a mom cat was meowing. I tried to focus on my classes. The lecterer insisted everyone kept the camera on.

And I had swollen eyes. It's so hurt but I think it cannot be seen on the screen.

When I was about to take a bath, I found out that my knee was bleeding.

14 Oktober 2020 0:01

Oh my! This is heartbreaking😢

I'm so sorry to hear this.. I hope your uncle is guided, In Sha Allah

 

But you ukhti! You were so so so strong all this while, it must've been so difficult for you, but you stood your side

, those poor cats behalf.. may Allah reward you immensely

You behaved so strongly

 

Yes sister, your other uncle said right.. I know you cared about the cats, but that uncle could've killed you.

Alhamdullilah you're safe!

 

Oh dear, you had a bad day :(

But Subhanallah, you had good intentions, you'll have your reward with Allah In Sha Allah, and that uncle

will be judged according to his actions

How is your knee now? Did u apply anything?

I wish I wish I wish I was with you.. to hug you, to just be there for you, to listen to you, to clean your wound..

but I'm not

 

Take care of yourself yeah?

 

I love you so sooooo much strong ukhti Dinda♥️♥️

14 Oktober 2020 8:58

I am seeking a strength in Allah. I feel fatigue now. I didn't apply anything on my knees. When I told my mom in

crying and hugged her, she seemed like she was too tired of hearing this. So today she seems to have normalized

everything. Me in my silence when I see my uncle around I get traumatized and when hearing any cat meowing it

is even more traumatizing me. I am thinking of moving out. I hope I am married so I will be saved in someone's

arms who protect me. I never found a protection on my dad. He was threatening me when I was a kid. This incident

brings a lot of memories that I've forgotten.

14 Oktober 2020 10:48

My heart bleeds for you 💔

Oh dear.. it must be so painful mentally and emotionally

But listen, you did all you could to save those poor cats, you put in whatever you could.. there's no fault of yours,

you managed everything so strongly, but what happened, it happened, it wasn't in your control any more.. I know

every time that you'll hear a meow or see your uncle, it will take you back to these things.. but please don't get

traumatized by this.. remember that you did everything to stop your uncle.. you're wonderful! You're so strong!

 

In Sha Allah, you'll get married soon, I know you make dua, I make dua for you too.. don't give up ukhti,

Allah has the perfect timing. But till then, we'll have to be patient and undergo everything with sabr

You know the dua for marriage though?

Uh oh.. so this must have triggered past memories too, oh Allah! I can't do anything, all I can is tell you that

I'm here for you, whenever you want me, whenever you want to let go of a burden, to rant, I promise to be

a listener to you💕

 

More so, Allah is there with you, dearest Dinda.. He probably loves you sooooo much, so He is making you go

through things, so that you will get closer to Him.. and what's more beautiful than that♥️

Jazakillah khairan for saying this to me. I feel not alone. Alhamdulilah. I don't know certain dua for marriage.

I used to had chats with a sister from the UK, she is phychology major, there is something that made me stop

talking to her.. nothing bad. But when we realize that we have same problem. She used to ask me whether deep

down I wish my dad died cuz she wish her toxic aunty died soon. At that time I said no cuz sometime my dad

looks innocent. He did bad things but didn't realize that it is so wrong. So I see him as an innocent. But when it

comes to marriage. I don't think my parent and my family will support. I just try to have tawakul in Allah

everthing He decree I will accept it. But yup it's not gonna be easy: marriage and my parent. They don't want me

to get marry to foreigner. Why I want to get marry to foreigner.. it is gonna be long list. And my parent don't

understand. So from now on. I will be like this and I don't know about future. I cannot hope much.

Actually I want to focus on my ibada instead of confusing this thing. Cuz I don't know which will be

coming to me first, dead or marriage.

Woah, okay, I don't support what that sister said about wishing if your dad died.. bcz life and death is not in

our control and plus they're your parents.. getting dad like that might be your test, and if you pass that, this

might be your reason for entering Jannah..

I have weird relation with my parents as well, it's tough, but we can't wish them to die.. bcz afterall they are

the ones who have brought us up, and in Islam, no matter how the parents are, we as children have to respect them..

Though I hope your relations with your dad is better now?

 

I know it's tough to go against family and society norms.. you might have to sit your parents down,

be calm, be patient, and tell them every point as to why you want to marry a foreigner (I wish I knew someone

whom I could recommend😢)

 

True yes.. it's not easy, and sometimes it feels that everything is difficult and hopeless, but hold on to Allah,

He is the only one who can guide and help.. all we can do is tawakkul and dua

There's this dua, which is authentic and should be said if one intends to get married or is married.

It's in Surah Furqan, ayah 74

 

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

 

Meaning: Our Lord, give us from our spouses and children, comfort of eyes, and make us the

leaders of the righteous

It takes time for me to reply I just finished my dhuzur prayer and when I read your text I cried.

I cried a lot lately 😶😅 it's not my hobby okay hehehe. InsyAllah tears calm the soul and heart.

 

Yup I need to get rid of thought about what if my dad died. I will have tawakul in Allah.

I don't really talk to him. It's so painful to just see him around. I am sorry I shouldn't be like this.

But I once promise myself if I cannot do good to my dad, at least I forbage myself to do bad to him.

It's just to painful to tell people what ny dad did to me even I don't tell my colleague. I don't wanna

tell people and I don't wanna be reminded while I am telling. But I used to think there are no practicing

men willing to marry me if they know who is my dad except if they cannot speak bahasa indonesia ofc

and don't see my dad too often.

 

 

Jazakillah khairan for sharing the dua. I will take a note insyAllah after this

Aw it's okay♥️ yes tears help in relief and calm

But here, sending a good cute tissue paper box, with good quality tissues, that'll wipe those tears away

gently, and won't make the eyes look red ;)

 

It's okay ukhti.. you don't have to say to anyone what happened if you don't want to, you don't want

to go through those memories, and it's absolutely understandable

 

May Allah heal and ease your situation, and grant you immense happiness and everything you ask for

 

Dinda, you're doing very very well.. it's not easy to live life with a bad past, but you're super strong!

Fighting and such a warrior, having a past, yet so funny, so smiling, so much faith in Allah.. I'm so so inspired by you,

wallahi! ♥️

14 Oktober 2020 16:14

Woo I never know that there is tissue that automatically will wipe out the red eyes as well. Where did you buy it? XD

 

Ameen. :)

Jazakillah khairan for always here to listen to my long long long stories, sister. I'll try to be better InsyAllah.

 

 

Btw how is your dayyy? 😍😍🌸

How's classes?

14 Oktober 2020 17:53

Yeah it's actually a special tissue, I make it and send it only to special people ;)

 

Wa iyyaki, barakallahu feeki 💕

Don't worry about that, as long as I'm alive, I'll be here for you😘

Suka

Salin

Laporkan

Ah don't ask! It's so mentally exhausting, I was so tired, I fell asleep after having lunch